A Trickle, Not A Flood

Exactly 4 weeks ago today, Haiti was struck by a magnitude 7 earthquake. Within a matter of weeks, over 130 of our children were evacuated to the countries their adoptive families are resident in.

We expected a flood of new admissions; children orphaned, injured or displaced by this disaster. What we are seeing, though, is a trickle, rather than a flood of very young infants whose parents bring them to our gate, asking that we take the babies in for temporary care or that we admit them with a view to adoption.

On Sunday, we received three month old Jerrensia into our baby house. Her Mother told us that the baby's father had died during the earthquake and that she couldn't provide for her new baby. Seeing this beautiful, fat, healthy infant who was clean, well dressed and contented in her Mother's arms, our Director couldn't help wondering whether this little one might be better off staying with her family. Jerrensia's Mother and Grandmother were thoroughly counselled, but they remained adamant that they wished to place her with us for adoption.

Minutes after Jerrensia's family left, our NICU nannies unwrapped the baby. They found that she had severely malformed lower legs and club feet. In Haiti, disability carries a huge amount of stigma. It is likely that Jerrencia's Mother gave her up for this reason and that she didn't tell us about her condition because she was afraid that if she did, we wouldn't take her.

At God's Littlest Angels,though, this special baby was quickly taken under the wing of our NICU nannies, who, declared her bright, beautiful and perfectly capable of walking....one day. Honestly, I am not sure that will be possible, but I think that our Haitian staff need to believe in possibility just now, and so I will not say a word that might crush their hopes for Jerrensia.

Tonight, we received another new baby. Peter was born around 10 weeks prematurely at the Baptist Mission Hospital in Fermathe. The staff at the Mission tell us that they are seeing a notable increase in the numbers of woman who have miscarried or gone into premature labour since last months earthquake. I can only imagine the torment of expectant Haitian Mothers in these frightening and uncertain times.

Peter is extremely fragile, but there are some factors that bode well for him: firstly, he weighs 2 pounds and 12 ounces, which is a good weight for a baby born at 28 weeks gestation. Secondly, his mother was given IV steroids at the onset of her labour; this will help mature Peter's lungs, giving him a much better chance of survial. Thirdly, he was transferred here quickly, and wasn't hypothermic for too long.

Peter is on oxygen and IV fluids just now and we have placed him in an incubator. We will be very, very careful in our management of this little boy. Although we lost baby Judeline a week ago - a preemie girl who was older and more mature than our newest boy - we choose to be hopeful for Peter. Those of you who pray, please lift this little one up to God, and ask him to strengthen Peter's tiny body, so that he might live, and grow and thrive.

A Return To 'Normality'.

Friday brought some difficult decisions. We had a full complement of nannies; 24 working the day shift and 2 working the night shift. Unfortunately there were just 18 children at GLA. Things were not going well; many of the nannies, having nothing to do, were slipping into a depression.

Our childcare staff are used to working 14 hour days, 4 days a week, with 85 children. Now, they were lying on their beds and sitting on chairs. With too much time to think about all they had lost, they wore dazed expressions. Apathy was setting in, and as the days passed, the babies became more and more fractious and irritable. Something had to change.

We gave this much thought, and came to the conclusion, with regret, that we would have to send some of our staff home. We wrestled with the numbers, and the thoughts in our heads. Must she go? Really? This lady is so good with the children...and this one is such a hard worker....

In the end, just 12 of our senior nannies remain. Those who were asked to leave did not argue or put up any kind of fight. Many of them are struggling with the psychological impact of the earthquake. All have lost family members and most have lost there homes and are sleeping in make-shift shelters. They talk of many deeply distressing things that they witness on the city streets.

I am sure that many of our Haitian staff feel unable to cope with work at this point, and would rather be with their families. Their kind of brokenness will take time to heal. They have been sent home on half pay. We hope to be able to call them back to work, one-by-one, as more children arrive.

We have closed our step-down nursery, and consolidated the remaining children and staff into our largest nursery.This nursery usually holds 50 children. There are just 12 there today. Each of the nannies have been assigned 2 children.

These ladies have excellent childcare skills, and they are doing a fantastic job of loving our little ones, and maintaining their routine. The babies are enjoying lots of individualized attention. The change in them, has been truly wonderful to behold. They are happy, smiling and playful; proof, I think, that we made some good decisions regarding their on-going care.

Charlene Is Re-united With Her Family.

Bright and early yesterday morning, I had the pleasure of kissing 5 year old Charlene goodbye.

Our delightful, precocious little girl was so excited that she could barely stand still!

Charlene came to us from the US Navy Comfort Ship Hospital after being injured, then separated from her family during the earthquake.

The staff at God's Littlest Angels turned their efforts towards reuniting this lost child with her parents. The task , in this case was not to difficult; Charlene was able to give our social worker her full name and address, and the names of the church and school she attends.

GLA staff visited these locationsand spoke to her pastor and her neighbours. Knowing that the Haitian people are listening to their radios day and night, earnestly hoping to hear news of loved ones, we also gave some of Charlene's details, and ours to the local radio stations. On Thursday morning, Charlene's Father received the news he had been praying for; his only daughter was waiting for him at an orphanage in the Kenscoff mountains. He made plans to travel here to come and take her home.

'It's not really true!', Charlene exclaimed when our office worker, Melanie, broke the news to her.

'It is true Charelene! It is!' we re-assured her.

God's Littlest Angels is very experienced at finding missing birth families and we have successfully re-united two families in post-earthquake Haiti. We very much hope that UNICEF will recognize that displaced children would be safe and well cared for at our orphanage. At present, they are refusing to allow clinics and hospitals in Port-au-Prince to refer displaced children to God's Littlest Angels because, historically, our main ministry has centred around adoption. Adoption, though is our last resort in caring for children who have been separated from their families. We would like to provide temporary care to infants and toddlers who have been diplaced or made homeless by the earthquake, untiltheir surviving family members are located.

As Charlene danced around our living room, we gave instructions to her father about dressing the wound on her foot. We sent him home with one of our emergency relief kits containing food, hygiene supplies, blankets, towels, a tarpaulin and a wind up lantern.

What a satisfying ending to the story; a family together again. 'We will be praying for you, Charlene, please pray for us as well.' Charlene promised that she would!

Photographs and video courtesy of God's Littlest Angels: To make a donation please follow this link

As Simple and Wonderful As That

None of us could 'fix' pre-earthquake Haiti, and now, in the aftermath of the disaster, with so many devastated lives, it is all to easy to become overwhelmed.

Yet when a stressed and traumatized three month old boy melted in my arms this afternoon, I became lost in the moment.

For that moment, just that moment, as he smiled and cooed, all was right in my world, and his.

And I was reminded that we are doing the only thing anyone can; focussing on the need before us, and meeting it as best we are able.

The most exciting and encouraging thing is this - all we did for JJ was provide basic care. That and love. Those were the only things he needed. It really was that simple.

Let The Little Children Come

At God's Littlest Angel's, we have been wondering whether we will actually be able to serve vulnerable children; orphaned, displaced or made homeless by the earthquake.

UNICEF's current policy of hearding all displaced children into tent cities in Port-au-Prince, prevents us from reaching children from the capital city, who have presented at hospitals and clinics after they have been separated from their parents. With just 16 children under our roof yesterday, the possibility of having to lay off some of our orphanage staff was a very real threat, that filled us with dread.

However, with the arrival of 5 children this week, it has become apparent that children in need will continue to reach our gate, just as they always have.

Our first arrival on Monday was a beautiful baby boy. His Mother reported that her house had fallen 'when the earth shook', and that the father of her new son - the baby is just a month old -had died. She does not have the means to raise him and cannot bear to see him suffer. We will try to find a permanent family for this baby boy.

Then today, all at once, the main house was blessed with 4 little ones.

Baby N is a dainty 5lb 7oz oz girl; a little doll, who has been relinquished for adoption. She will be matched with a family as soon as the Haitian government begins processing adoptions again.

We also received a set of brothers into our baby house. Their mother is alive, but the family are now homeless and the boys' father is not involved in their lives. They are both in need of medical treatment and they are here for temporary care, while their mother tries her utmost to re-build some semblance of a decent life for them.

JJ is three months old. The first thing we noticed about him was his gorgeous smile. The second thing - he arches his back, extends his neck, and he cannot hold his head up. He likes to keep his arms tightly flexed, with his hands fisted. These can be signs of neurological problems. Neglected and traumatized infants, though, sometimes develop abnormal muscle posture in response to the stress in their lives. JJ is a bright baby and his world has certainly been chaotic lately. We hope that in a secure environment, where all his needs will be met, he will relax and develop normally.

JJ's brother is 15 months old and weighs just over 15lb. The loose skin hanging like an oversized suit from his tiny frame, tells an all too common tale of weight loss. His hands and feet are beginning to swell; a sign that he hasn't been getting enough protein. He has a cough and a swollen gland. He is not feverish but we started him on an antibiotic anyway; malnourished children are very susceptible to infection and often, their bodies are too weak to mount a response to illness. We will watch this toddler very closely. The early signs are promising; he is hungry and eating well.

His brittle, thinning hair, that should be thick, black and shiny reveals that this baby, like many others in Haiti, was suffering from malnutrition before the earthquake; his family, all ready struggling to survive, cannot even scrape by now.

Last, there is 9 month old boy, S. His mother brought him here because he is sick and she is living on the streets and cannot access medical care for him. Unfortunately she is not able to stay here with her baby. He is very upset and anxious to be separated from her. He is used to being breast-fed and he is refusing all food and liquids that we offer him. This poor little man was absolutely inconsolable tonight; we did our best to comfort him anyway.

He has a bad cough, diarrhoea and vomiting. We are rehydrating him with a feeding tube and we will start him on an antibiotic.

Three weeks living in a tent city has taken it's toll on these little ones. Food and safe drinking water is scarce. Overcrowding is a problem and people do not have adequate shelter. It is the children who are affected the most. Starvation is a very real threat and diarrhoeal illnesses and respiratory conditions are spreading rapidly.

Goodbye

Late this morning, our social worker came up to the NICU with good news. We have been caring for a little boy, who is thought to be around ten years old. He was admitted to General Hiospital in Port-au-Prince after his house collapsed around him during the earthquake of January the 12th. The Hospital was ovewhelmed and Harry was transferred to the Comfort Ship. At that point he became separated from his Mother.

'My Father died, but Mummy did not,' he told me through tears. I promised him that we would do our very best to find his Mummy. For over a week, our adoption staff have been doing just that.

Well this morning, Harry's mother saw his face on one of the posters that our Director had put up on the walls of the General Hopsital. When Harry, who has soft tissue injuries affecting his left arm and foot, returned from a check up at the local mission Hospital, a wide grin spread across his face. His Mummy was right there, waiting for him!

We sent Harry and his Mother home with medications for pain and swelling and a relief pack containing food, blankets, a tarpaulin and hygeine items. A delighted Harry kissed me good bye, as his Mother promised to visit in three weeks time; Harry will attend the Baptist Mission Hospital in Fermathe to be reviewed by an orthopaedic surgeon later this month.

God's Littlest Angels Director, Dixie Bickel, explains to Harry that his Mother called us after seeing his face on one of the many posters that GLA staff put up in Port-au-Prince.
This was the happiest of goodbye's - a mother and son reunited. Dixie and all the staff at God's Littlest Angles would like to make family re-unification our new mission, in post earthquake Haiti.

Tonight, we said another goodbye. This time, with tears of sorrow welling in our eyes. Shortly after 6pm, the NICU nannies called me to see our premature baby, Judeline. When I got upstairs, she was blue and she wasn't breathing. We tried to resucitate her but we were unsuccessful.

On Sunday night, I shared that I would not place my hope in Judeline being a miracle baby. Experience is a hard teacher, and I have learned in my short time in Haiti, that premature babies who are hypothermic (very cold) for long periods of time, usually stabilize for a few days after we warm them up, and then become very sick. The 'cold stress' damages their immature organs.This morning, Judeline's abdomen was swollen; it was an ominous sign.

We did what we could to support her frail little body, but in the end, the best medical care Haiti could offer just was not enough to save this beautiful, and perfect baby, who was just born too soon, and in the wrong place. I do not doubt that had she been born in a developed country, she would have lived. The sad fact of the matter is that many Haitian babies are born prematurely and with low birth weights, mainly due to lack of pre-natal care. There are very few Neonatal Intensive Care beds, and so many tiny lives are lost needlessly.

Judeline is just one of the thousands of Haitian babies who will die this year, in a country in which 20% of infants do not live to see their first birthday.

I know the statistics, and I protected my heart, but I still would have liked a miracle - the kind you can see and hear and touch.

Darkness and Light

'My cousin is lost.'

Her eyes were flat with grief and exhaustion. We were sitting in a nursery that now has just two children, one of them being her son. That leaves twelve empty beds. Twelve children in that room who have left GLA in the wake of the magnitude 7 earthquake. Many of my Haitian colleagues have lost 10-12 family members in the earthquake. As her gaze swept the room, she barely shook her head.

'You mean they didn't find him yet?' I enquired.

'I think they probably took his body away.' she replied. There was no expression on her face. Her shoulders sagged. 'Maybe they burned it... and I can't cry anymore. There are no tears left in Haiti.'

Yet five minutes later, as she recounted the story of another cousin, who, was found dead under the rubble of a collapsed house, her voice trembled. The family had wanted to bury the lady in her wedding dress, but her corpse was too bloated for that. They laid the dress on top of her, as her middle-aged mother ranted that her daughter had been cursed.'

This was not witch craft we agreed. Nor was it a judgement from God. And then, tears began to spill from eyes that are not quite dry yet.

*******

'We will not call her that!'

Madame Bernard was very firm with the parents of our new premature baby. They could not name their little girl 'Casablanca', because that meant, 'White House' in Spanish. That just is not an 'appropriate' name for a Haitian baby.

'She is a pretty little girl,' Madame Bernard chided, 'So find a pretty name for her!'

My Haitian colleagues could not contain their laughter. There was mirth dancing in my eyes, I am sure, and a giggle under the surface, but I did manage to keep a straight face as our NICU nanny, Ginette, helped the parents find an 'appropriate' name.

'What are your names? What about your surnames? ...... And the names of the grandparents.' There are, of course, lots of things to consider when naming a baby. Our Haitian staff were sure to to impress the gravity of the decision on the parents of the child, who, after all, would have to live with the name they chose for the rest of her life.

The Father's name, it transpired, was Jude. Ginette thought for a second. 'Then why not call her Judeline' she suggested, the idea coming forth from her mouth as it was formed in her mind. Her thought processes in putting this name together are so Haitian. I love that!

'Judeline?' The mother repeated. 'Zhood-leen...' She glanced at the baby's father, who signalled his approval with a nonchalant shrug.

'Yes' the Mother, said, 'Let's call her Judeline.

Are you sure? Ginette asked. The decission was not one to be taken lightly.
'Yes'

'Susan,' Mme Bernard announced, 'This baby is called Judeline.' I had heard the entire conversation. I was right there, feeding the baby.'

'It's decided then?' I asked

'Yes Mme Bernard declared, in a tone of that said, the choice was entirely theirs, as it should be, 'Yes, the parents have decided.'

*******

On one side there is so much darkness; death, the morbid and macabre, loss, hunger, grief, homelessness and vulnerability. On the other, a reason to laugh, babies born, choices made, enterprising vendors, selling dried plantain chips and souvenirs to journalists and aid workers in Port-au-Prince. Life in Haiti, in a very fundamental way, continues as it always has.

There is a source of light, springing forth from some deeply rooted and primitive part of our humanity. Today we embraced that light, despite the encroaching darkness.