In His Fathers Arms

Our new baby did not look well on Monday. He was not tolerating his formula as he had been and he cried when ever we handled him.

As the days passed, his body began to swell and his skin became inflamed and broke down. He became upset when we offered him his feeds and soon after that, he developed diarrhoea and vomiting. He was irritable, and it was becoming more and more difficult to comfort him. We started him on antibiotics, we gave him regular pain killers, we changed his formula and we prayed.

On Thursday, his condition worsened. His stomach was distended and his mouth was ulcerated. Pain killers and anaesthetic gels were not helping and he was becoming dehydrated. We started an IV to give him fluids but it soon became apparent that his little body was failing. His breathing became laboured, and his body became bloated.

It was difficult for the nurses and nannies to watch his condition decline over the afternoon. There was nothing for it but to hold him and ask God to take away his suffering. I played some gentle classical music for him and told our little man that I desperately wished I could make it all better.

As I left for dinner, I promised him that I would come back to say goodnight. When I returned he was no longer crying. He held my gaze for a minute or so and his breathing settled into a slow and regular rhythm. It wouldn't be long now.

I held Doubidson and told him to look for his angel. His eyes were unfocussed but I didn't doubt that he was seeing things we could not.

Shortly after 8pm, he passed from my arms into the arms of his angel. He knew he was going to heaven to be with Jesus and he knew that we looked forward to meeting him there soon. I made sure of that.

We are left with a sense of sorrow for the suffering that this innocent baby endured. Yet I know that for Doubidson, all of this has faded away. He is is in his Fathers care now, and God will heal what we could not. This knowledge is more precious than gold and it is beautiful beyond hope.

Please pray for the nurses and nannies. Many of them are mothers and one lost a baby a few moths ago. This adds extra layers to her sorrow.

Update: Today, on the 7th of November 2012, I learned that Doubidson Junior probably had congenital Ichthyosis, a rare and often severe congenital skin condition, characterised by overgrowth of a tough, protective protein called keratin.The skin becomes so thick and tough that it forms scales that have been described as being like body armour. As a result of their very tight skin, babies with this condition develop deformities and are often unable to breath because their rib cages are constricted. Without meticulous skin care, deep cracks form in the skin. Babies with Ichthyosis overheat quickly,  dehydrate readily and have very high energy needs. They often die from severe skin infections or respiratory problems.