In Septemeber 2008, I traveled 6000 miles to Haiti's Kenscoff mountains. My mission: to care for some of the orphaned and abandoned, the sick, malnourished and premature infants of this beautiful but beleagured Caribbean nation.

Sunday, 10 July 2011

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails
And puppy-dogs' tails,
That's what little boys are made of.
What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice
And everything nice,
That's what little girls are made of

(19th century English nursery rhyme)

Most of the families who apply to adopt from God's Littlest Angels request referrals of little girls. Most of the children in my nurseries are boys.

Last week,our Director shared with us that she has no families on her waiting list, for many of little boys that are ready to be proposed.

As I did my morning rounds at the baby house this morning, I wondered which of my boys, would have to wait for a very long time, for someone to say 'yes' to them.

Frantz? He is a chubby, beautiful infant, not quite two months old, and thriving in every way. If he were proposed now, it is possible, a stretch, but possible, that his adoption would be completed before his first birthday. He is a son that would make any Mother or Father proud.

Supposing Dixie doesn't have a family for Frantz, what are the chances that she will be able to place Jamesson, my three month old who has some developmental delays from malnutrition? He is weak, but gaining strength. How long will he wait?

And what about Blanco? At 8 months old, he is the calmest baby in the NICU. He is gorgeous and happy and contented. I'm sure he would be snapped up by a modelling agency. I took it for granted that he would be snapped up by an adoptive family too. Was I wrong? just doesn't seem fair that our sweet,determined boy, who is so loved by his nannies, nurses and volunteers, and who has been here for over a year all ready, should have to wait any longer.

And then there is Christophe.....I never met a child like him! He arrived in February, severely malnourished, weighing 12lb. He was 16 months old then. This boy has an incredible spirit; highly sociable, engaging, but also extremely dominant. I remember doing his developmental assessment a few months ago. Christophe had to be persuaded to co-operate. After a while, he turned the tables on me. 'Like this', he kept telling me in a tone of authority. I was taken aback. He wanted to be in-charge. He wanted to be a teacher, not a learner, and he was assessing me! I have always said, Christophe will be one of two things: a great leader or the most awful tyrant. It is my mission to make sure that he becomes the former, not the latter. He will bring a lot of joy to his 'forever family', but who are they, and when will they step forward?

I think there are many reasons why, our waiting families request baby girls. Many of them are reasonable. I can certainly understand why a single mother might feel more comfortable raising a female child, for example.

What if we think of it from a different angle? A prospective parent might wait several months, maybe over a year for a baby girl to be available. What if, all this time, the son that God would place in that waiting family, is also waiting.

I think that boys get a bad reputation. They are different from girls, there is no doubt about that but I personally adore them, and I do not find them more difficult to raise, than girls. I wonder if maybe, the single mother who hopes to adopt, has men in her life, a Father, a brother, a friend, a neighbour a priest, a pastor, who could be an excellent role model to her son. No-one can be everything or everyone to a child, girl or boy.

I know that many of you pray for our children. Would you pray that someone will say yes to all of our children? We have many boys, many sibling groups, many special needs children and older children who will be difficult to place. GLA is a good orphanage by Haitian standards. but it is not a family and children need a deserve to be set in families.

If you are a prospective adoptive parent, maybe your dossier is in Haiti, maybe you are in the process of gathering all of your paperwork, I am asking you to pray too. Might God be leading you to consider adopting a boy? If you haven't received a proposal, it is not too late to contact Dixie or your agency, and tell them, you would gladly welcome a boy into your family.


Liette said...

Oh your words resonate with me! When I applied to GLA to adopt a child, I wrote in my application "boy or girl - with a preference for a girl". And my reasons were exactly as you a single mom, I believed I would feel more comfortable raising a girl, and that it would be somewhat easier because it's more familiar to me and that I would know just what to do. But God had other plans for my family...and now I very anxiously wait for Djeff to join me home, here in Canada. He is such a fantastic little boy and, when I had him in my arms during my visit to GLA, it felt so extremely right that he, and no other boy or girl, should be my child. I truly believe that this was God's plan all along...and I am soooo very grateful to Him for guiding Dixie in her decision and for making it happen exactly when it was meant to be.

Shantra said...

Although my husband and I are not 35 and abl to adopt from hatti yet.... We have a year to go.... When we can we will be coming for the boys!!! This is the post that we needed! Not th hubster he has always wanted more boys:)

stephanie garcia said...

I am so thankful for our three sweet boys, two from Haiti ... and pray the little guys you are lovingly raising will find their forever homes very soon.

Kathryn said...

Hi Susan--

Thank you for this post. In our original paperwork we indicated "girl or boy with preference for a girl," but when we submitted our dossier at the end of April, we made it clear that we'd be happy to bring another boy into our home--one already quite familiar with the joys of frogs and snails . . . Our sons will love to welcome a younger brother and my husband and I will be honored to parent any of these precious boys you already know and love. Thank you for your amazing work and amazing love. We are looking forward to meeting you and these beloved children.

Anonymous said...

I would love to adopt Blanco. I have felt that way since the first time I saw his picture. He has been in my prayers daily.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with you about the sweetness of boys. As the mother of 2 girls and 2 boys I can honestly say that the boys are a little easier. I love my girls dearly but they are more prone to whineing and tantrums. My boys who are "negotiators" not whiners when they want something are very sweet and loving and protective. But...I love them all and feel so blessed to have them all.

Michele said...

We want a boy so bad! Please pray that we find the financial means to complete an adoption. We would take one tonight if we could!!! We have open arms and open hearts and would love to welcome one of these angels into our home. We have the means to care for another child, but the upfront agency adoption costs are a little scary to us!

nicnacpaddywac said...

My heart breaks reading this Susan. But then, you know how much i (as a now single mum) adore my wee boy. I wish i could give some of your boys a loving home, but know i'd never get approved for adoption :-(

Whilst C is my biological son, i hope i can pass onto others just how much love, care and attention he gets from the male role models in his life - his uncle, and my friends mean the world to him, and he looks up to them so much. I know they will always be there whenever he needs a masculine role to turn to, and would imagine most single women would have people to take this role too.

Praying these wonderful little men can find forever families very very soon.

Michelle Johnson said...

Oh, how your post makes my heart break. My family is in the beginning stages of adopting from GLA through Bethany Christian Services. We do not have a gender preference, and hope to adopt an older sibling group (age 4-7). We are moving as fast as we can to get our home study done so we can then move onto our dossier. God already knows who our children are and we can't wait to find out!

Graciela said...

Hello.My name is Graciela from Argentina.I'm very interested in adopting a Haitian boy. At the time I´m trying to save money for the "idoneidad"certificate in my country and for all that is needed afterwards.I don't earn much ! Please pray for me, lady.

Graciela said...

How are the little ones doing now? Are they getting better? May God protect them!