In Septemeber 2008, I traveled 6000 miles to Haiti's Kenscoff mountains. My mission: to care for some of the orphaned and abandoned, the sick, malnourished and premature infants of this beautiful but beleagured Caribbean nation.





Thursday, 21 January 2010

Breaking Heart

Today, the children I love most are due to leave Haiti on a flight bound for Florida. Many of the children who will be travelling will be united with their permanent adoptive families when they arrive in the USA. For them, I rejoice, but many of our special needs children have not been matched with families and will become wards of the state, when they arrive in Miami.

I don't know what will become of the children after the leave us. I am extremely attached to two of them, in particular. They are about to lose everything they have. I can't prepare them for what is coming, any more than I could prepare them for anything that has happened over the last 9 days. I have had little warning that they will be going and I am not willing or happy to open my arms and release these precious babies of mine to be scattered by the winds. Please do not write and tell me that they will be better off in America or that they are in God's hands. It is my greatest hope that will find permanent homes soon, with families that will love and cherish them at least as much as I do. I hope that somehow, in the midst of this unspeakable tragedy, they will rise from the ashes, and soar.

As we struggle with bewildering changes and profound losses, we stand poised for an influx of sick, injured and orphaned children. Four volunteer nurses arrived here two days ago. Some medical supplies have also gotten through to us. We are in a position, like never before to reach out to some of Haiti's suffering children. I will do that in honour of the children who are about to leave us. Loving them has made my heart whole and good.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Prayers for your breaking heart. Prayers for the new little ones entrusted to your care to help bring healing.

Annette in Vermont said...

My heart aches for you and all those who have so lovingly cared for these children. Thank you.

FUNKYSIREN said...

Hi Susan...Im not going to say what you already know...but as a mother I can understand what you have written and how you feel. You are a special mother to these special two and all the children. Can you sneak a letter of introduction and a contact into their meager belongings?
or is this not allowed...Im ths sort to try it...lol. Im a bit of a rule breaker sometimes though. I send my continuous hugs and Im in awe of all you and the other nurses are doing...a wonderful example. My family [husband and 2 young children and myself are very much in love with these babies too but alas we can only pray for them from way over here in Australia. We will continue to follow your wonderful blog. smiles Michelle

Annette in Vermont said...

Susan,
Thank you so much for all you have done and continue to do for us. We were Berlancia's adoptive parents, and your presence with here meant the world to us. Since then your bog has been our lifeline in many ways. We check it multiple times a day, just in case, and will continue to do so. We are so glad that Gedeleine is coming home to us, but also grieving with you the loss of so many all at once. Your heartbreak is nearly inconsolable, and we weep with you over all that has happened in the past 10 days, the past 18 months, and today. May the God of all comfort embrace us all in his peace, grace,and mercy, today and always. Thank you so much fro sharing your heart, your skills, your life.
Peace to you,
Tim and Annette Franklin

Lisa said...

I myself have been to haiti and am a RN...even here in america you worry about your patients that are family to you even our Cerebal palsy kids..I will say a prayer for them today to be placed in a home that will love them as much or even more than you do and I will say a prayer for you too as you are losing babies and children that are like you own...my church supports an orphanage and we have 3 doctors there right now and doing everything that we can to get all of our girls out of there,and they will be placed in homes as well...praying for all of haiti and praying for all the kids...GOD BLESS YOU...

Salzwedel Family said...

I'm so sorry for your pain. I can't imagine the emotions you are feeling.

Sister Haiti said...

Susan - you don't know me but I work with the Medical Advocacy Team helping kids find medical care in the US. Is there any way to keep these SN kids out of fostercare? We might be able to get our local hospitals to donate care and get some host families. I hate to see them get lost in the "system". Kids without families from another orphanage were allowed to go with homestudy ready adoptive families when they arrived in the US. Let me know if we can be of any help.

Salem Richards
sister_haiti@yahoo.com

Lish said...

Susan,
I can't even begin to imagine all you and the children have been through, or how hard it is to say good bye, especially with such uncertainty about their futures. You and the children our in our prayers.

TwinsplusTHREE said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. The sacrifice you have made is commendable and we will pray for your breaking heart. We will pray that God will bring some very special people into your life in the following days. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

I know it will mean so little to you now, but those children go forward into the world stronger because of the care you've given them. They are so much the better for having known you, and the benefit of the love and care you've given them goes with them. I'm glad for them that they have that.

Thinking of you always and sending my love,
your little sis
LMB xx

Monica & Anya said...

Susan,
Little Alex, age 3, is coming to live with my cousin and her family. Abby & Scott are amazing and loving people who are waiting in Florida as I type. They have 3 little girls who are all waiting to welcome their little brother. He will be well loved. I think I can speak for Abby when I say that we are all so thankful for the care you have provided to the children. Abby also blogs often, with photos, so you can check on him whenever you want. : )

Thank you SO MUCH and may God bless you as you care for the children who have yet to come to you.

Monica

Cathy said...

I will be praying for your aching heart. So sorry that you have to go through this but you are doing God work. You continue on in the midst of this heartache.
I am 52 and now rasing a little girl with Trisomy 18 and couldn't let her go. I am exhausted and most of the time think I should have let her go but couldn't. Bless you for what you are doing. I am in the U.S.(Texas) I am a licensed adoption agency but don't search out for children. I believe God gives us the children we provide homes for. If any of your babies need temp homes and returned to you, I would be happy to absorb the cost and return to you when you ask. Prayers for your heart!

LeAnn said...

Susan We have never met but I have 3 precious children from Gla. My children have been home 7 years,6 years and 4 years now. My heart is in haiti and with GLA. I pray for yu all everyday and enjoy the connection with your blog.


Please know that I am praying that God would comfort you in this time As an adoptive parent it is good to hear that you are sad to see the children go for that means the children were loved so very much. Thank you for loving those precious angels and mey the love you have flow in your heart to share with the children coming soon to the gates of GLA. May God continue to bless you and strengthen you , protect you and make His face shine upon you.

Catherine said...

You are strong and faithfull... I am with you....
Catherine

Carla said...

Oh Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm with Annette in thanking you for all you have done and continue to do for the orphans of Haiti along now w/the injured and sick. I can empathize with you in your loss. I'm still praying for God to give you the supernatural wisdom, strength & endurance to get you through this. Keep the faith, sister. You're doing a great job.

SIKA FAMILI said...

As a mother myself I can only feel a little of the feelings you must be experiencing at this time. I wish I could help more.. I don't even know where to being... My husband and I are devastated over the disaster the has occurred in Haiti... We have already donated money to charitable organizations.... I watch CNN all day long, as i am a stay at home mother of our one year old boy... I just can’t function the same thinking that the good people in Haiti are suffering so much especially the children... I get so emotional thinking if it was our own son... Well what I am trying to say my motherly nature in me is yearning to help more... I know this is probably not possible, but i can’t stop thinking about bringing home one of the infants... I just barley stooped nursing my own son, I STILL HAVE MILK and could nurse and we could love a new little one in our family... We have all the stuff you need for an infant... My husband and little boy could fly there and adopt a needed infant. I hear all day long that they don't even have names for the infants, just numbers. WE are currently living in France for the past 3 years and are US citizens originally from UTAH.... DO YOu know if any way that this could work... I know we need to have a home study and all the paper work, but the children are the most important thing right now... I just feel so guilty sitting here so blessed and in good health and need to do more... Please let me know how we can help... Thanks....

Best regards and may God bless you and the country of Haiti you are in our prayers,

Haley Sika
hebhoops22@gmail.com

http://haleynsalesisika.blogspot.com/

Abdul jaleel n said...

Terrible I pained when I open this blog iam ready to help the victim I decide to donate same money sent me any agencies address to help them

Anonymous said...

Peace be with you.